Celebrating Mediocrity

Comedy, I suppose, is a subjective thing. What is funny to some may not be funny to others, one man's meat is another man's soiled underwear, and all those well trodden cliches, so the idea of crowning someone the best comedian usually comes down to a popularity contest. I suppose if you wanted to be scientific you could place microphones in the audience and measure the decibels of laughs per second, and do your best to elliminate bias by cross referencing the participants relationship to the performer, a polygraph to measure whether the laughs were genuine, etc. After all that there is still a strong chance that 50% of people won't like the results. In fact it has been said that in order to be a successful comedian 50% of people should dislike you.

Here is an excerpt from Callum's write-up on his most recent poster:

“Callum Hitchcock is a vibrant force in the South African comedy landscape, hailing from the Eastern Cape and now based in Cape Town. The Savanna Comics’ Choice Newcomer of the Year for 2024 infuses his performances with a dry, observational wit and a distinct perspective on societal nuances. By combining a charming mixture of casual confidence and self-deprecation, Callum ensures laughter across the country. The only question is whether the audience finds themselves laughing at or with him - he’s not bothered... As long as they’re laughing!”

Now this comedian has recently won an award for being the best newcomer, or the most promising new comedian on the scene. I just want the reader at this point to ask themselves what this writeup says about Callum, specifically the part about the audience laughing at him. I understand self-deprecation, it's pretty much universal for comedians to self-deprecate, but it's rare for any well-respected comedian do have the audience's reaction being described as "laughing at" them. If you watch the above video, there is a part where a man cackles menacingly. Who knows why people laugh? I personally laugh at the strangest times. Often in a comedy club when a comedian is doing particularly bad you will hear a loud "Ha-Ha!" coming from my direction, and it's an unfortunate reality (or perhaps fortunate if you're particularly sadistic) that many young comedians take this as an indication of their success.

Perhaps I sound bitter, and if that's so it's because I am. I have performed on the same stage as Callum many times, and I always felt bad for him. Perhaps I am the one who is delusional, but from my perspective the institution of comedy that is Savanna Comics Choice awards is not particularly interested in promoting social change. Callum's threads bio states "Mostly making jokes to distract myself from the West's descent into fascism." Well, okay, now there is something I can get behind. What is the most pressing political issue in the current day involving fascism? Well Israel, to put it bluntly, Israel is the obvious bad guy on the global scene right now, apart from perhaps Russia, so then Callum must be all over that, right? He must be tweeting left and right about the atrocities committed by the Jewish Ethno-state, right?
You guessed it, the closest that Callum ever actually gets to commenting on the West's descent into fascism is criticising the ANC.

I actually don't think he's a terrible comedian. He's okay, definitely pretty good for a beginner (probably not as good as the comedians he was nominated against but that's another story). I personally got a standing ovation on my first try of stand up at MSU in America, and continued my killing streak across South Africa, but not everyone can be me, I get it.

He's a pretty decent comedian, and I would not be writing this article at all if only I had the opportunity to perform comedy at all in Cape Town.

You see, I had to do it all on my own. I attended the Savanna Comics Choice Awards in 2017, but I wasn't a nominee as I had not paid the R700 entrance fee for the competition.
That's right, Callum and all the contestants in the competition pay Savanna for the chance to compete in their pony-show. I was invited to the competition on my own merit due to some videos I made in support of my cousin Matthew Armstong, who is a more talented comedian than Callum will ever be.

I started my own shows in Durban and Cape Town, in the city and in the suburbs. I was running two shows simultaneously when I was randomly and flasely accused of sexual assault. It ruined my life, and I have no idea who accused me or of what, I don't know who I am accused of assaulting, all I know is that everyone that I assumed I was friends with blocked me from contacting them, and all of my shows disapeared from my hands and appeared in the hands of others. The show at Saggy Stone is still going, and Callum is scheduled to perform there on the 19th of June, at the show that I started.